Influence Without Authority: Persuading Across Power Dynamics

Initiating a conversation with a supervisor can be intimidating, especially if you plan to discuss a … [+] complicated topic or persuade them toward a particular outcome.

getty

Dealing with positional power differentials at work can be challenging. When attempting to persuade leadership or supervisors to act on a particular issue or project, it’s crucial to navigate these conversations effectively. This article explores how to initiate difficult conversations, the importance of maintaining a deferential tone, and applying the Compassionate Curiosity Framework for effective internal processing and emotion management.

Initiating Difficult Conversations with Leadership

Initiating a conversation with a supervisor can be intimidating, especially if you plan to discuss a complicated topic or persuade them toward a particular outcome.

A simple and effective framework for initiating such conversations is: situation + impact + invitation. Start by presenting the bare facts of the situation: “The other day, I was doing an analysis and found something interesting.” This sets the stage for the conversation.

Then, discuss the impact: “I believe this information could have a significant impact on our organization.”

Finally, invite them into a conversation, “I’d like to have a conversation with you to explore this further and hear your thoughts.”

By using this framework, you can introduce the topic and emphasize the importance of the conversation while maintaining transparency about your intentions. It’s a respectful way to initiate difficult discussions and encourages supervisors to participate actively.

Maintaining a Deferential Tone

In situations where there is a significant power differential, it can be helpful to acknowledge these dynamics explicitly and approach the conversation with a deferential tone. By recognizing the supervisor’s authority and expressing your respect for their decision-making role, you create an environment where they are more likely to listen and engage constructively.

For instance, you can say, “I have this data, and I understand that this decision is entirely yours. My goal here is to provide you with the information you need to make an informed decision. I have my perspective, but I also acknowledge your authority in this matter, and I’m looking forward to our conversation.”

This approach reduces resistance and helps the supervisor feel respected. It sets the stage for a more productive discussion and encourages them to be open to your perspective.

Navigating Resistance: Applying the Compassionate Curiosity Framework

Most of the time, your supervisor will have the ultimate say in decisions. They may also be experiencing different perspectives, dynamics, and priorities, leading to some resistance to your proposal.

If you’ve prepared and presented your best argument and they are still hesitant to accept, don’t press the issue, especially in the first conversation. Changing somebody’s mind can take time, but it starts with listening.

Give them the space to express their concerns or hesitancy and do your best to validate the perspective they share. The strategy here lies in respect and reciprocity. First, by listening and validating the other person you remove some of the natural defensiveness than can come up in these conversations. Beyond that, people appreciate feeling heard. It makes them feel valued and ultimately connected. This can open the door for reciprocity: eventually they may be willing to open their minds to your perspective as well.

Finally, create a strategy for managing any negative emotions that arise if the conversation isn’t heading in your intended direction. The Compassionate Curiosity framework can be applied, both before and during the conversation. If you need time to process in the moment, taking notes (or even pretending to) can buy you a few moments to organize your thoughts and deal with your emotions.

Acknowledge and Validate Emotions: Start by identifying and acknowledging your own emotions. List them out and consider what is causing frustration or disrespect in the situation. This step helps you become more self-aware.

Get Curious with Compassion: Extend this curiosity to the situation by asking yourself what is causing the frustration and disrespect. Be compassionate and non-judgmental in your self-assessment.

Joint Problem Solving: Reconcile the differences between your emotional and substantive needs. Consider what would satisfy you emotionally and what would satisfy you substantively. This helps align your emotions and thoughts.

By following this framework, you can manage your emotions and maintain a clear, focused mindset when engaging in difficult conversations with supervisors. The more you practice, the better you become at controlling your emotional intensity and making informed decisions.

Navigating unequal power dynamics and persuading leadership in the workplace is a skill that middle managers can develop and refine. By combining transparency, respect, and emotional self-awareness, you can foster productive discussions and build stronger working relationships with those in positions of authority.