Cover Snark: Barbie Bendy Legs

Welcome back to Cover Snark!

Elyse: Dick in a U

Sneezy: Never thought about cupping done on a dick until now.

Sarah: Also the type treatment makes it look like FUX

We could do an entire page of cover art where an ab-tastic dude is lifting his shirt and looking for something and still never know what it is they are looking for.

Elyse: Not to be confused with Megatron

Amanda: Is Zuck getting into romance now?

b: Zuck would commission a better cover.

Claudia: He’d tell AI to do it.

Sneezy: *hisses in vampire cat*

Sarah: Is he wearing pants that lace up the side?! Wouldn’t the wings be the part of his body that would benefit from alternate fasteners? How annoying is that when you really have to pee? What if it’s bone town time? It’s like when a wedding dress laces up the back and a bridesmaid has to be texted to help because the bride can’t get out of it and the groom is like, ‘uhhhhhh.’

Not that I witnessed such an event.

But still. Lace up pants. Why.

Sneezy: It’s called confidence Sarah! “I am he who will NEVER pee or shit my pants. I am he who is impervious to boiling glucose!”

From Denise: I was just offered this book for free, and had to examine it a few times. Her left arm, left leg, and dress don’t make sense, especially with the salmon-colored settee in the background.

There is a leg bent behind the arm–magnify it–but the arm across it looks like the arm was put in place of the leg, the lower arm looks placed there because of the color of the sofa, her hair, and the arm seemingly starting where the knee would be. Because of that, the dress looks weird where the legs come out. The faux gold sleeves look more like curtain ties, and windswept hair indoors complete the look. Her skin seems to have three different shades from her face, arms, and décolletage.

Sarah: That person must do a LOT of yoga. And they can detach their torso from their pelvis.

Amanda: It also reminds me when I do the feel check after shaving my legs and find a big chunk missed.

Sarah: Ankles are always so challenging for me!!

Sneezy: I advocate for ATTACHED limbs. (If this is someone’s dismembered barbie coming back to haunt us, apologize NOW!)

From Jen: The guy on the left seems unsure about his hat and wig. The guy on the right seems to be investigating his burning midsection. The girl looks like she’s climbing off this bizarre book cover.

Sarah: You know that girl in the background has some earbuds in and is rocking out to Kate Bush and Florence + the Machine and the guys are SO mad she isn’t paying attention to them and their hat and their fireabs.

Amanda: The silver helmet and hair look like one thing.

Sarah: there is 1000% a knitting pattern for that hair and that hat as a single unit on more than one knitting site.

Sneezy: Somehow it looking like a cardboard cutout diorama makes everything that much worse.