‘Hot Frosty’ Forever

From the jump, Hot Frosty wants you to know it is Not Like Other Christmas Movies. According to the opening narration (there is no narration anywhere else), “Since the dawn of time, Christmas fairy tales have often included the wonder of a snowman coming to life, destined to bring its magic to the right person. But those fairy tales have never been told like this.”

Wild. There’s something off about the syntax of those sentences, not to mention the logic. The dawn of time? Christmas has only existed for a couple thousand years; even creationists admit there was a time before Jesus.

From then on, Hot Frosty is Exactly Like Other Christmas Movies, give or take a shirtless adonis. We meet Kathy, the owner of Kathy’s Kafé, played by holiday rom-com queen Lacey Chabert, who is delightful and wears cute boots. Kathy of Kathy’s Kafé is freezing, inside and out, because her husband is dead and her house is falling apart. She’s not warming herself, in body or soul.

At Kathy’s Kafé, Kathy says hi to her fellow residents of Hope Springs, and Chrishell Stause makes a cameo. Perfect. Later, Kathy talks to an older woman who gives her a magic scarf and tells her to get out there and meet somebody, and then she takes a tour of the town’s snowman sculptures: a handful of regular round snowmen, plus one absurdly detailed snow sculpture of a jacked naked guy. She puts the scarf on the jacked naked guy because he doesn’t have a scarf, and Kathy is nice. That night he comes to life and the older woman he runs into goes mad with horniness at the sight of him.