Twice as many women are having extra-marital affairs as men

Married dating site Ashley Madison have revealed that despite often being reticent at first, women are embracing open – or Disclosed Non-Monogamous relationships (DNM) – more than men.

The website’s latest membership data reveals that while 14% are currently enjoying a DNM relationship – almost double (26%) of women are in one.

The survey also discovered over half (51%) of women actively discuss their sexual preferences and desires with their lover, compared to just 39%.

 But psychologists claim a “DNM” dalliance need not be a threat to primary relationships – instead, it can be a healthy boost.  

For example, almost one in five (18%) of respondents who are currently in a DNM relationship said they like to experience their non-monogamous experiences together.

Lucy Beresford, a psychotherapist and relationship expert, said: “What we see is that increasingly, women are openly prioritising their sexual desires.

“They are more comfortable than men discussing their preferences with their partner and are also happy to talk about disclosed non-monogamous relationship arrangements with their friends.

“This demonstrates an increasing confidence in the way women are really leaning into pleasure and erotic connection.

“The more nourished and fulfilled women feel, the more they will not want to compromise on this aspect of their intimate life.”

In order for a DNM relationship to work well, however, open communication (71%) and mutual terms (57%) are deemed as crucial.  

This is where a non-monogamy agreement can be useful – a set of guidelines and expectations that both primary partners require full complete buy-in.  

Encouragingly, 52% of all respondents to the survey said they knew what one was, and 30% currently had one in place.

Christoph Kraemer, the managing director Europe for Ashley Madison, added: “A common stereotype is that people who embrace a disclosed non-monogamous lifestyle are more promiscuous than others.”

However, it’s clear that for men, discretion is still important in the outside world. Only 35 per cent currently in such a relationship have told others about their DNM versus over half (57%) of women.

For both men and women, friends are the most likely to be the ones they talk to, according to the study among 2,520 members of the site.