592. Holiday Wishes and Recs from Agnès, Sue, Jo and Varian

[music]

Sarah Wendell: Hello and happy holiday season. Welcome to episode number 592 of Smart Podcast, Trashy Books. I’m Sarah Wendell, and my guests this week are all of you! It is time for our holiday wishes, book recommendations, and actually dreadful jokes with listeners and reviewers as my guests. Every year I invite the review team from Smart Bitches and the members of the podcast Patreon to connect with me for a very brief interview, and these episodes are so popular. They’re like weekly hugs for your ears and your brain, and another hug for your TBR because it’s definitely going to get a little bigger.

In our first of our holiday wishes series, I am joined by Agnès, Sue, Jo, and Varian. Happy Holidays from all of us to all of you.

I want to say hello and thank you especially to the Patreon community. Clearly, one of the perks is getting to talk to me on Zoom and tell me all about your favorite books, but there are many other perks. And I have a compliment this week!

To Lauren H: You know the feeling of seeing candlelight in warm, dark places like the glow of the flame is contagious? That’s how you make your friends feel every day.

If you’ve supported the show with a monthly pledge of any amount, thank you. You are helping me keep going every week; you’re making sure every episode has a transcript that is hand-compiled by garlicknitter. Howdy, garlicknitter! [Howdy! And Happy Holidays to all! – gk] If you’d like to join the Patreon community, have a look at patreon.com/SmartBitches. Monthly pledges start at one dollar. And Hello to Kimberley S, who is the newest member of our Patreon.

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I love doing these episodes, and I know from the stats that I have that they are very popular, so I hope you are as excited as I am to start our holiday wishes series.

[music]

Sarah: Please introduce yourself and tell the people who will be listening who you are and where you are in the world, if you – you don’t have to be any – as unspecific as you want.

Agnès: [Laughs] Hi, everyone! I’m Agnès. I’m one of the many, many listeners of the show and one of the Patreon supporters. I live in Dordrecht, the Netherlands. That’s about it!

Sarah: All right. So what is a book that you really, really enjoyed this year?

Agnès: That’s possibly even easier than my name this year.

Sarah: Right?

Agnès: I realized that – [laughs] – I realized that in January I took a trip, a trip to a film, a tiny little film festival up north in the country, and I bought Nettle & Bone by T. Kingfisher? It’s a trip up to that, and I started reading it. It’s a four-hour trip by train, and then it’s another hour by boat to the island, and I just sat there sort of, with my nose sort of buried in that book. And that was in January, and then in May I read the same book all over again. And then in October I read the same book all over again! So Nettle & Bone, absolutely! Book of the year for me! And then I thought, I think I read some other of her books? Of Kingfisher’s books, and I’m on track to read about eighty books this year, but this – which is not, you know, not bad – that was Nettle & Bone; the Clockwork Boys; The Wonder Engine; Paladin’s Grace; Paladin’s Strength; Paladin’s Hope; A Wizard’s Guide to Defensive Baking, which is absolutely as much fun as it sounds like; and What Moves the Dead, which was slightly scarier than I like. Which means that she’s sort of, if you don’t count the, the rereads? She’s ten percent of my reading this year? Part four of the Paladin series is coming out next week, so yeah. [Laughs]

Sarah: Well, I mean, I’m sure someone’s going to listen to this and be like, Oh my God, yes! Oh my God, they’re so good! It is, it is delightful watching people in different parts of the internet discover Kingfisher’s books? It’s so fun!

Agnès: [Laughs] It’s amazing, and it’s – yeah. And I’ve, I just checked her Tumblr the other day, and she’s not having the best year health-wise? So I –

Sarah: No, she’s not.

Agnès: – I’m so glad something else is going right for her?

Sarah: Yes. Yes, I completely agree.

So what wishes do you have for everyone listening?

Agnès: I hope you have lots of good company, or at least as much as you want, and something nice to eat.

Sarah: I love that; that’s perfect. Good people and good food, right?

Okay, now this is the hard part: did you bring a joke?

Agnès: I stole one from the internet.

Sarah: Those are the best kind!

Agnès: [Laughs] It’s – wait, I have, I have this entire tag on my Tumblr that it, that goes ba-doom-tish, and –

Sarah: [Laughs] Ba-doom-tish!

Agnès: So this is, this is a screenshot of a Twitter joke by Mariana Z, or Zed – I never know which one, which one you guys have?

Sarah: We use the Z, but it’s fine.

Agnès: Where do bad rainbows go?

Sarah: Where do bad rainbows go? I don’t know.

Agnès: To prism! It’s a light sentence, but it gives them time to reflect.

Sarah: No! [Laughs] Oh, it’s, it’s got three punch lines! Ohhh! Oh, that’s –

Agnès: [Laughs]

Sarah: Wow! It’s, I have to say, being on the receiving end of the joke is quite an experience. Now I know how all of you feel when I come up with a, with a real corker. Wow!

[Laughter]

Agnès: Every week on Friday morning at some point I’ll be walking around the house and doing Friday, Friday things, and I’ll, and one, at some point I’ll go, No! And my cat will be, Are you okay?

[Laughter]

Sarah: Wow, okay, maybe I shouldn’t have put myself on the receiving end. This is going to be brutal.

Thank you so much, Agnès. This has been so delightful, and it’s so nice to meet you in person. Thank you so much for being part of the podcast community, and thank you for listening to the show. It means a lot!

Agnès: It’s an absolutely favorite part of the Friday every week.

[music]

Sue: Hi, my name is Sue. I’m in the Los Angeles area, and I’ve been a Smart Bitches, Trashy Books reader for a long, long time.

Sarah: Yes! Yes, and I think is the second or third time we’ve spoken for the holiday episodes?

Sue: I think it’s the second, yeah.

Sarah: Yaaay! All right, so you know how this works: tell me about a book that you really, really enjoyed this year.

Sue: So I pulled up my reading list, because I was like, I haven’t read very much, and then I was like, Oh no, thirty-seven books! That’s pretty good!

Sarah: That’s fabulous! Hell yeah!

Sue: [Laughs] I’d, like, forgotten half of them, so I was like, Oh, I did read those! Huh! So I would say this, this year I really started the year hard – hur-hur – with Katee Robert?

Sarah: Oooh!

Sue: A lot of the Dark Olympus? So the problem is, is that, like, when you join a series five books in, I think? It’s, like, great for the first month, ‘cause you’re like, La, la-la, la-la, this is amazing! And then you catch up to her publication schedule, which is a normal human – actually, she’s a pretty superhuman writer – so, like, they’re coming out, but I was like, It’s not coming out at the rate with which I would like to consume?

Sarah: Yep!

Sue: So I went through, I think, the first four or five Dark Olympus ones, and then I just was like, Now I wait –

Sarah: [Laughs]

Sue: – like a normal person. [Laughs] And it was awful! But I loved all of them. I think my favorite of the ones that are out was probably Radiant Sin is the one with, like, a house party, and it’s like – I think it’s that one. That’s the one where, like, they’re at a house party and it’s Apollo, and it’s like, it’s really nice, and then – I don’t know. All of them are really good, so highly recommend the Dark Olympus series. She writes fast, too! So –

Sarah: She does.

Sue: And then – oh, my, the thing I really want, and when I was looking at it I was like, I really want to impress upon this: like, I just finished a webtoon, my first webtoon ever.

Sarah: Oooh!

Sue: Once again, the algorithm knows me. Like, I’m just, I’m just going to let Big Data control my life.

Sarah: That’s fine.

Sue: Scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, and then, like, BookTok! Eh, problems with BookTok. But some woman comes on the screen, and she’s, like, doing the whole thing where you’re pointing at the screen behind you? And she’s like, I need you all to get on this webtoon. What is a webtoon? So she explains – I felt like an old, right? It was like –

Sarah: Aw!

Sue: – everything webtoon! And she’s like, This webtoon is called “Marry My Husband,” and the premise is this woman dies terribly and goes back ten years – this is not a spoiler; it’s like the premise, right? So she goes, she dies a terrible, she dies terribly and goes back, and has all these regrets, and goes back ten years in her life, and she wakes up and realizes she’s been granted a second chance, and it’s crazy, so good! So dramatic! I loved it, and thank God it was done by the time I started reading it, because then I didn’t run into the whole, like, having to wait and, like, getting frustrated. So I just finished it, and then I found out that Netflix is making it into a K-drama that’s – or not Netflix. It is being made into a K-drama that will be on Netflix soon, soon thereafter, and it starts in January.

Sarah: Ohhh! That’s awesome!

Sue: I’m so excited. Like, it was so dramatic. It was a lot like a romance novel, but, like, sometimes when I have like a, kind of a reading slump, like, audiobooks help. I think this webtoon really helped, ‘cause it was like –

Sarah: Well, it’s doing some of the cognitive lifting, right?

Sue: Yeah, yeah.

Sarah: Right, like, the same way that an audiobook is telling you the story, the webtoon is providing the visual, so it’s doing a lot of the work, the cognitive work of a narrative that otherwise you would do with just plain text in a book and do all of that yourself.

Sue: Yeah, yeah! It was like, Let me tell you a story, and I was like, Great! Tell me a story!

Sarah: Yeah, sure. Pretty colors? I’m here; let’s do it.

Sue: Yeah, it was, it was incredible. So I had not, I wasn’t a kid who grew up reading, like, manga or anything like that?

Sarah: Right.

Sue: Or, like, anime, so, like, a lot of this was, like, very unknown to me. I literally texted my friend, How do I read a webtoon? [Laughs] I was like, I’m sorry so old, but – I’m sorry I’m so out-of-touch, but, like, how do I – and she’s like, This is the URL; I found it for you. And I was like, Thank you!

Sarah: Ohhh, awesome!

Sue: [Laughs] And she was like, It looks like it’s mostly translated or completely translated, so you should be good to go, and I was like, Okay. And then like a week and a half later I resurfaced and I was like, Everyone must read this.

Sarah: [Laughs]

Sue: It is batshit. It is batshit, and it’s so good, and the twist was so good I had to put my phone down and take a lap around the room.

Sarah: Nooo!

Sue: It was very good.

Sarah: Oh wow, and, and of course this is the type of thing where you start reading and you can’t stop, right?

Sue: Yeah, yeah. Like, Thanksgiving; like, turkey in the oven; I was, like, leaned up against the, like, the oven; and I was like, Just one more chapter.

Sarah: I have been known to schedule things for dinner when I am reading a book where I can read with one hand and just stir with the other. Like, if all I have to do is stir or put something in the oven or whatever, I, I have been known to reserve recipes for when I’m reading and I just want to stir something. Yeah.

Sue: Well, for dinner I ate this book.

Sarah: Yeah! [Laughs]

So what holiday wishes do you have for the people who are listening?

Sue: So last year I remember, ‘cause I wished everyone, like, a cozy holiday, as much or as little as you wanted.

Sarah: Yeah.

Sue: I think this year, similar, but also I feel like, I feel like we’re learning that the world is on fire and always on fire, right? It’s just a new, different fire, right?

Sarah: Yep.

Sue: So, like –

Sarah: Different fire every day.

Sue: – fire every day, and I think partly it’s because we know about ‘em. The information is available now, and then you have to sift through it and figure out whether or not it’s computer-generated or not.

Sarah: Yep.

Sue: So there’s just so much cognitive effort in existing –

Sarah: Yep.

Sue: – which sounds so crazy, but, like, to exist is very cognitively tiring.

Sarah: Yes!

Sue: I think – [laughs] – I think my, my new hope for myself and for others is, like, taking it easy and giving yourself the ability to go for the long run. The long haul is so – if you’re lucky! – is a really long haul, and that’s, and that’s the goal, right, is to –

Sarah: Yeah.

Sue: – to – [laughs] – and to get older and to look older because, like, that’s a privilege, right.

Sarah: Yes.

Sue: But, so the privilege of having a long, long existence is understanding that you can’t burn fast and burn out.

Sarah: Yep.

Sue: So that, that’s my goal for, for the holidays that, like, you actually get to do some holiday stuff knowing that the world’s on fire, but listen, the world’s going to continue to be on fire, so, like, you have to, like, balance them and navigate sort of yourself and your place in the world at the same time. So it’s – I don’t know if it’s hopeful so much as, like, it’s a recognition that it’s difficult –

Sarah: Yeah.

Sue: – and a recognition that you can have lots of things. You can have joy in this little pocket; you can be outraged about other things; you can be working toward bigger goals; but you can also be like, You know what? Time out. I’m just going to go stare out some twinkle lights –

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Sue: – for like twenty minutes.

Sarah: Yep. And it’s, and it’s okay if you do that.

Sue: Yeah!

Sarah: Yeah.

All right, do you have a bad joke? Did you bring one?

Sue: Oh yeah.

Sarah: Ah! This is the best part. This is the best part of these, because everyone gets to turn the bad jokes back on me? Like over and over and over.

Sue: No, I, I take your jokes, because I love them!

Sarah: Ah!

Sue: So the one that I loved is not seasonal, was from a while ago, and for some, whatever reason, I, I always tell myself I’m going to remember all of them, but this is the only one that I have remembered without ever having to look it up again, which was, this was yours. It was:

What is a baby owl that just got out of the bath?

Sarah: Hmm.

Sue: A moist owlet.

Sarah: Yes! [Laughs]

Sue: I don’t know why that’s so funny!

Sarah: It is –

Sue: And…

Sarah: – so funny.

Sue: …so funny! [Laughs] …one that I like, is seasonal that I really like, that I stole from my friend, who apparently stole from, like, a Snapple cap or something? Was:

What do you Santa Claus’s little helpers?

Sarah: What?

Sue: Subordinate Clauses

Sarah: [Laughs] That is fabulous!

Sue: There have been a couple where you said it, as I would say, out loud during the podcast? Oh my God, Sarah!

Sarah: [Laughs] That is the best. That is so great. Thank you. I don’t know –

Sue: Like you had just told me the actual joke, and I’m like, Oh my God!

Sarah: [Laughs] See, knowing that people talk back is the greatest. Like, I’m a big fan –

Sue: Oh yeah.

Sarah: – of everybody talking back.

Thank you so much for doing this!

Sue: Thanks for, thanks for running this every year. It’s really fun to hear everyone’s thoughts and, like, their wishes and what they read, what they read this year, although it gets kind of deadly, ‘cause then I go, Oh yeah, me too! ‘Cause I forget.

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Sue: Oh yeah, me too, and then, boop-boop-boop-boop-boop, and then suddenly –

Sarah: Yep. It’s true. I look back at my reading for this year, and I’m like, Oh, that was this year? Like, Prince Harry’s book was this year? Was the same year as this one? Amazing to me. Like, I can’t believe that.

[music]

Jo: So my name’s Jo. I’m Canadian, but I live in England, sort of northern England. I’m in the Peak District.

Sarah: Oh!

Jo: So the view out my window is absolutely gorgeous. [Laughs] ‘Cause there are really nice hills, and I’m not fit enough to walk up them, but many people do. So that’s, that’s where I live! It’s, it’s been really nice and sunny and cold, which is much nicer than November was, which was sort of just above freezing and kind of drizzly and dark.

Sarah: Yeah. So what is a book that you really enjoyed this year?

Jo: So I went through, I actually went into my Goodreads, ‘cause I’m pretty, I read on a Kindle so it kind of is really easy to keep up there? And I read like 108 books so far this year. [Laughs]

Sarah: Wow! Well done!

Jo: I’m like, I, I don’t know how that happened – [laughs] – exactly. But I was like, Is this year, is this the year that Killers of a Certain Age came out? And it, it was! I read that at the beginning of the year, and I did really enjoy that.

And then the other thing I really noticed about my reading this year, and I went and looked and checked against last year, is that I read a lot more mysteries this year? I didn’t read any last year. And you had recommended the Veronica Speedwell series, and I read that and really enjoyed that as well, so I guess maybe it was Deanna Raybourn’s year for me a little bit?

So yeah, I really enjoyed those, and I always enjoy anything Alexis Hall puts out, and he seems to have done three this year, so.

Sarah: That’s awesome! I also reread the entire Veronica Speedwell series on audio, one after the other after the other. Like, that was exactly my, my series for the year too.

Jo: We did chat about that –

Together: Yeah.

Jo: And one of the, that was one of the other things I did this year that I haven’t really done before: I’ve never really been much of a rereader? And this year I did do some rereading, especially if, like, a new book in a series came out, I sometimes just read that whole series before I read the new one? And I also did a bunch of, like, binging series. Like, I found a series that was already most of the way in and binged a few series, so that, that, I kind of really enjoyed some of that sometimes this year.

Sarah: It’s really fun to get started on a series and think, Wow, I know exactly what I’m doing for the next few weeks then. Ha-ha!

[Laughter]

Sarah: Choices made. I don’t need to think too hard; I know exactly what book I’ll be reading next.

Jo: [Laughs] Yes, exactly!

Sarah: So what holiday wishes do you have for everyone listening?

Jo: So I was thinking about this, and my typical thing to – I mean, I work with academics. I’m like a coach for academics, and almost everybody that works in education by this time of year is exhausted. [Laughs]

Sarah: Yes.

Jo: So my normal holiday wish, which I think I will stick with, is to wish people rest and joy, and I was just thinking, you know, the dystopia situation – [laughs] – that we have been experiencing now for several years has not been easing up and seems to be getting a bit worse this year?

Sarah: Yeah.

Jo: At, then, and I felt like, Well, maybe people would find rest and joy maybe, like, well, that’s impossible, or that would be indulgent, given – [pauses] – everything –

Sarah: Yep.

Jo: – and I still wish you rest and joy, and I think, I, I hope people feel or find some way to indulge in some rest and some sort of tiny form of joy, whatever kind of joy they can find, even if all those things happen to be small and not enough –

Sarah: Yeah.

Jo: – because of all the awful. So that’s, that’s my wish.

Sarah: That is a lovely wish. When I was looking back at this year’s, my, my reading of this year, I was shocked that the first book I read this year was Rest Is Resistance by Tricia Hersey, and I looked at that and I thought, Okay, first of all, I need to reread it, ‘cause I don’t remember any of what I read, ‘cause I, I know it made an impact on me. But also, That was a year ago? That was it? That feels like five years ago. But it’s never –

Jo: Yeah.

Sarah: – it’s never a bad message to be like, No, you need to rest. You can’t do all the things if you don’t rest.

Jo: And I did buy that, but I haven’t read it, so that might be a thing I should do over the hol- – [laughs] – over the, over the holiday is maybe read that.

Sarah: Fabulous! Thank you so much for doing this!

Jo: Thank you for asking us to do this! This is like, it’s really fun, and thank you for everything you do. A lot of my reading is, you know, inspired by the podcast and the website, so –

Sarah: Thank you!

Jo: – thank you very much.

Sarah: That is, that is such a lovely compliment. Most of the time I’m, you know, sitting here alone in my office, so it’s really nice to, to, to talk to everybody who I’m talking to all the time, so thank you, thank you, thank you, and have a wonderful holiday.

Jo: And you too!

[music]

Varian: Hi! My name is Varian Ross. I’m an author, but that’s not what this talk’s about, so –

Sarah: That’s okay! It can be many things.

Varian: I’ve had a couple short stories and some poetry published, and one of my wins of 2023 was I finished draft zero and have moved to draft one of a novel. So.

Sarah: Yaaay! That’s a good feeling! Well –

Varian: All of a sudden –

Sarah: – done!

Varian: – I finished, I finished draft zero, and I was like, What?

Sarah: What? I finished a thing? But how did I do that?

So, speaking of writing, what book did you really enjoy this year?

Varian: I have several; is that okay?

Sarah: That is always okay.

Varian: Good. [Laughs] One really surprised me: it was Prince Harry’s autobiography.

Sarah: Yep! My, me too.

Varian: I listened to it.

Sarah: Oh, so did I! He did an amazing job narrating, didn’t he?

Varian: Such a good job narrating!

Sarah: Even the parts that dragged, I was like, This is so impressive, especially narrating his own story when it’s so sad!

Varian: The parts after his mom died –

Sarah: Oh!

Varian: – I was like, Oh, you poor kid! This is horrible.

Sarah: Yeah! But did you enjoy the book overall?

Varian: Yes, yes, overall I really, really enjoyed it, and it took me by surprise how much I enjoyed it.

Sarah: I would have said that he was a shoe-in for a Grammy for best narration in audiobook, except that Barbra Streisand’s audio-, autobiography also came out this year? And the audiobook, I kid you not, is forty-eight hours long.

Varian: What the fuck?

Sarah: It is like a nine-hundred-page autobiography. The audiobook is forty-eight hours, and the people who I have listened, who I’ve, who I have heard talking about listening to it say that Barbra just telling you all her business is incredibly good. So I have that, I have that on hold at the library.

Varian: Forty-eight –

Sarah: Forty-eight hours.

Varian: – hours.

Sarah: Yeah, and people say it’s incredible, so I’m really curious. Like, I don’t watch the Grammys? Like, I don’t stay up late. I’m certainly not staying up late for an awards show that’s like really, really long. I might pay attention to who wins the audiobook Grammy this year because it’s going to be quite a race.

So what surprised you about the, about Prince Harry’s Spare?

Varian: I think what surprised me was how emotional it was?

Sarah: Yeah.

Varian: And I was texting my friends about it like, even the part where he was in the army, that did take me by surprise.

Sarah: Yeah.

Varian: Because, you know, being from America, I don’t know much about the royal family.

Sarah: Yeah.

Varian: So I didn’t know about his military service –

Sarah: Yeah.

Varian: – and I was texting my friends about it, and I said, you know, What stuck with me was where he says, you know, My life, I know my life is fucked up because this is the first time I have ever felt normal.

Sarah: Yes!

Varian: Was boot camp in the army.

Sarah: Yeah.

Varian: Because that just, like, whoa; that just really, really struck me.

Sarah: Yeah. So you mentioned you had more than one book. What other books really rocked your world.

Varian: Killers of a Certain Age.

Sarah: Yes! You are not the first person to mention that book this year. That book rocked, didn’t it?

Varian: I – it is the first I had ever read Deanna Raybourn. I hadn’t read any of her mysteries. I’d gotten it, you know, on sale, from one, from one of the Books on Sale posts; I just hadn’t read it yet. And you know, then my sight changed and that really shifted my ability to read text. I still can, but I can’t, like, sit down and read a book for, you know, several hours at a time.

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Varian: So I listen to a lot more books. And I’ve discovered that I like being able to go back and forth between the audio and the text.

Sarah: Oh, that’s interesting!

Varian: Yeah, because that way, like, I, if I’m tired of a narrator’s voice, because that does happen –

Sarah: Yes.

Varian: – I can just, like, move over to the text version.

Sarah: Yep, absolutely true!

Varian: And, like, I loved Killers of a Certain Age. I flew through it in like three days, and that is the fastest I’ve read anything novel-length this year?

Sarah: Wooow. So what other book rocked your world, or did you, was it two?

Varian: One that rocked my world, not because it was, you know, super great but because it was Mystery Science Theater 3000 of texting my friends about it and laughing at it, was Anne Rice’s Sleeping Beauty series.

Sarah: Really!

Varian: Not because, you know, they’re super well written or anything, but of the experience, the experience of texting my friends like, Anne, what?!

Sarah: [Laughs]

Varian: Anne, no! Anne, you need a flared base for that kind of thing!

Sarah: Please do not do that, Anne. Please stop.

Varian: Yes. Anne, don’t! Anne, why? What? Anne, that’s an interesting word choice there.

Sarah: [Laughs more]

Varian: So that experience of texting all my friends about it, 10/10, highly recommend.

Sarah: That, that sounds like it would be good for like a, like a live, a live performance reading in a group with a lot of alcohol.

Varian: Yes, that’s basically what we did.

Sarah: Brilliant! [Laughs]

Varian: It’s, assume the whole thing was, you know, generic off-world fantasy land, and then it’s dropped in book three that, Oh no, this takes place in Europe, and I just ripped the rug out from under my reading experience, and I sat there trying to figure out where exactly is this happening?

Sarah: Right.

Varian: And my friends and I figured out maybe somewhere in Spain?

Sarah: [Laughs]

Varian: ‘Cause that’s, like, the only place we could think of that’s warm enough for everyone to be running around naked 24/7.

Sarah: Where is this happening? What is happening? Where am I?

Varian: Yes, exactly.

[Laughter]

Sarah: So are there any other books you wanted to mention? Or would you like to move on to holiday wishes for everyone listening?

Varian: I’m, one I’m currently listening to, actually, Lovecraft Country –

Sarah: Oh, interesting!

Varian: – from Matt Ruff, in part because the, again, the audiobook. The narrator has such a good voice.

Sarah: That is excellent. A good voice really makes a difference, right?

Varian: Yes. Like, a good voice to the point I looked up who the narrator was in my library app, and I went through and I marked other books he narrates.

Sarah: Wow!

Varian: …this. It is not a novel, as it’s one long narration? It’s closer to a collection of linked short stories.

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Varian: Because I got to the thirty percent mark where the first story ended, and I was very confused.

Sarah: [Laughs] Wait, but it’s end, but it’s not over, but it’s over! But it’s not over.

Varian: I thought it was end, but this part’s over! Where are you going with this?

Sarah: Right.

Varian: And then I realized, No, oh, it’s a collection of linked short stories where everyone has their own experiences with this particular terrible family.

Sarah: Ahhh! And the narrator is Kevin Kenerly?

Varian: Mm-hmm.

Sarah: Oh wow. They’ve done so many things.

So what are your holiday wishes for everyone listening?

Varian: My holiday wish is for everyone probably that you get to take naps.

Sarah: [Laughs] Yes!

Varian: Because, you know, naps are important. And just that you are able to get a break when you need it and that you get the support in the form that you need and not the support that other people think you need.

Sarah: That’s a very important distinction, isn’t it?

Varian: Yeah, and, you know, I say that as, I’m blind, and you have no idea, sighted people. You know, there are things I need help with, yeah, but also, like, there’s stuff I can totally do on my own, and people who can see are like, Let me help you with this! And I’m like, I’ve got it.

Which, oh, another favorite book: The Arrangement by Mary Balogh.

Sarah: Oh, really!

Varian: Can’t believe I forgot that one.

Sarah: Why did you like that one?

Varian: In part, I really, really related to Vincent?

Sarah: Right.

Varian: Because of my own – well, he completely lost his sight; I still have some?

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Varian: But I really, really related to him as the part of, where a lot, in the book he talks a lot about how, you know, I’m blind, but my life is still worth living.

Sarah: Yeah.

Varian: And that really stayed with me.

Sarah: Yeah.

Varian: And it is just a beautifully written historical romance all around? And there is no act-three breakup.

Sarah: I love when there is not.

Varian: I was going to say, I don’t know if that’s a Mary Balogh thing? But I’ve read two of her books so far, and they have not had act-three breakups. Because I really, really hate the act-three breakups.

Sarah: I get it. It’s like when you read and you kind of sense that it’s coming; you start to, like, mentally, like, brace yourself for, like, something that’s really painful –

Varian: Yeah.

Sarah: – and you don’t want to have to process that so late in the g- – yeah. I completely get it.

Varian: Yeah, The Arrangement, I kept bracing myself for, like, every other historical I’ve read in like the, what, decade I’ve been reading romance, there’s been an act-three breakup? And I kept bracing myself, and I’m like, it’s at ninety percent; how is she going to do this? And it didn’t happen, and I was like, whew! Good.

Sarah: Such, such a relief!

Varian: Yes.

Sarah: So do you have a bad joke?

Varian: I do have a bad joke.

Sarah: Ohhh, yes! Tell me your terrible, terrible joke.

Varian: Well, to the relief of my eye doctors, I do not have a sight-related joke.

Sarah: [Laughs]

Varian: Once upon a time there was a monk. Because he walked everywhere, his feet had lots of calluses on them. Because he ate the food that was given to him and it was summertime, the food had many herbs and many spices, particularly onion and garlic. That made his breath smell pretty terrible, but because of all this, and because of his vows of poverty, his health was not very good. And so all of this combined, he became a super calloused fragile mystic catch by halitosis!

Sarah: [Laughs] Super calloused is, you know, you know whoever thought of that is just like, Oh yes, I’ve got this.

Thank you so much, and thank you for doing this interview. It is really, really fun to talk to everybody, and I really appreciate it.

Varian: You’re welcome! I had a lot of fun.

Sarah: Yay!

[music]

Sarah: And that brings us to the end of this week’s episode. Thank you to Agnès, Sue, Jo, and Varian for connecting with me.

Next week we will have part two of our Romantic Times Rewind exploration of the ads and features of the July 2004 issue. The ads are incredible. And then on the 22nd, the 29th, and the 5th, we will have holiday wishes from so many people around the world. I am so excited to do all of these.

I also want to thank you for the reviews. I had mentioned in a previous episode that I had reviews on Apple, and then they disappeared, and I didn’t know where they went, and y’all – wow! – y’all really came through for me; thank you. Josie Lynn Y’all wrote:

>> You would be amazed the crap I’ve learned from this podcast.

[Laughs]

>> Huge backlog if you need something to binge on a car trip.

Now, there are 592 episodes now, so I’m guessing that if you’re driving and you’re listening to the whole backlog, you’re going to the moon, which is probably a very nice drive. Certainly it’s going to be quiet.

I also end with a bad joke. Even though you heard so many, I’m going to say one more, because I am terrible. This joke comes from Malaraa from our podcast Patreon Discord, which is another reason to join the Patreon.

Did you hear about the hiking trail where you will always, always meet a guy named Nicholas?

It’s true! There’s a hiking trail where you will always, always see this guy named Nicholas?

It’s a see-Nick trail. 

[Laughs] I told that to the family, and I got a Mmph, so, so you know it’s really bad.

On behalf of everyone here – literally, everyone listening! – we wish you the very best of reading and a happy holiday season. Be warm and be safe, and we’ll see you back here next week.

Smart Podcast, Trashy Books is part of the Frolic Podcast Network. You can find outstanding podcasts to subscribe to at frolic.media/podcasts.

[Laughs] Scenic!

[holiday music!]