Can the planet really sustain any more ESG conferences?

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Messages from the archive of Rutherford Hall, critical communications strategist

WhatsApp to Stephen: It’s an interesting idea, but haven’t we missed the boat on ESG conferences? Can the world actually sustain another one? And if impact investing really delivered great returns, we wouldn’t still need so many conferences bigging it up. Just look at the verbiage that comes out of this sector. All those speakers with ridiculous titles and nothing to do, just blathering on about what brilliant work their company is doing.

WhatsApp to Stephen: Actually, I’ve just had a look at how much some of these conferences charge attendees. We need to do our bit for the future of the planet. 

WhatsApp to Stephen: One important philosophical decision. Are we doing this for the money or for brand-building? Assuming the latter, we should go for sponsorship and a big entry fee with block sales to corporates. My study suggests the more we charge the better, since price is seen as a signal of quality. 

WhatsApp to Stephen: Yes, there are a couple of really serious conferences, run by pension funds, full of crunchy detail and attracting serious professionals making investment decisions, but I think the bigger opportunity is unserious professionals with large corporate budgets. I once saw some builder explaining how smart motorways were inherently green. Not so much greenwashing as green-drenching. What we definitely do need are some sessions on AI and climate change to make it feel cutting edge and give attendees something new to say in meetings.

WhatsApp to Monkwell Staff: I know you’ll be very excited to hear that we are setting up our own conference on green and sustainable business. We want Monkwell to be on the front-line of the future, a leader in planet positive solutions. We hope it will be the first of a rolling programme of thought leadership. First task is to come up with a great name for our event. All ideas welcome. PS as a small signal of intent, we are turning down the thermostat here by 2 degrees. I want to see those jumpers.

WhatsApp to Stephen: No, they are all rubbish. Sustainable Investing; Impact Business; Responsible Investment; Sustainable Business; New Sustainable Business. Sustain with Impact; Impact and Sustain; Protect and Survive. Get ESGit Done. The Sound of Thunberg. Circular Sustainability. Sustainable Circularity.

WhatsApp to Stephen: I’ve got Jane working on invitations. I figure if we splash some cash on two or three headliners we can get everyone else for free or very little, esp if they think it’s an exclusive green room. Hang on. That’s it.

From: Rutherford@MonkwellStrategy.com

To: My list

As a valued client, I want you to have early notice of a hugely exciting development. Monkwell is launching The Green Room Summit, which we intend to be the premier conference series for those who are fed up with talking and want to get serious about ESG, the circular economy and impact investing. This will be a clearing house for cutting-edge ideas, giving you advance insight on future policy developments. There will be a focus on networking to advance your own policy thoughts with global players.

Combining breakout sessions with global climate policy leaders and how-to workshops with key stakeholders, this is an exclusive gathering that will help your business achieve active brand purpose, influence consumer behaviour at scale and develop solution-oriented frameworks in the carbon ecosystem. We’re thrilled to be joined by the president of COP29, which as you know looks all set to be held near the Lukoil refinery in Nizhny Novgorod.

There will be keynote speeches from the chief nature officer of Volpone Bank, BP’s vice-president for the circular economy and the director of product stewardship at Boohoo. We’ve also been promised the UK energy secretary, whoever that happens to be at the time. 

I’d particularly draw your attention to our outstanding panels on the sustainability opportunities from AI and enhanced cyber security. Very few businesses are talking about this yet but we see real opportunities to get ahead of the pack.

The details are below, but clients can secure early bird tickets at a 25 per cent discount price of £850pp. The venue, a luxury hotel just outside London, is offering a rate should you wish to reserve a room or extend into the weekend.

Look forward to seeing you, Rutherford

Find me on Strava, KoM Sydenham Hill, PR London to Brighton 3h 09m

WhatsApp to Stephen: Bollocks. Someone has taken the Green Room name already. OK we’ll call it The Monkwell Green Room — but with Monkwell in a smaller font. It’s good for our branding. Monkwell — saving the planet one conference at a time.

Messages recovered by Robert Shrimsley