A convicted murderer who killed his neighbour cannot remember the incident, a court has heard.
Brian Whitelock, 57, assaulted 71-year-old Wendy Buckney in her home in August 2022.
The retired horsewoman was attacked with a kitchen knife, a broken table leg and wooden shelving, Swansea Crown Court was told.
Her bloodstained, naked body was found in the living room of the property in Clydach, near Swansea.
Whitelock, of Clydach, is representing himself in the trial.
Defending himself from the dock, he said he had suffered a head injury several weeks beforehand.
He told the jury he could not remember being arrested and he has “no idea” why he was at Ms Buckney’s home.
“It’s horrible what’s happened, it’s absolutely horrific – what I have done, what I have caused somehow,” he added.
Whitelock has admitted manslaughter by diminished responsibility but denies Ms Buckney’s murder.
“I don’t know what else I can say – I’m sorry – I can’t forgive myself, I don’t think I will ever come to terms with what’s happened, I expect to spend the rest of my life in jail, I deserve to,” Whitelock told the court.
“Why did I do that to someone, to anyone, to Wendy, someone who was so nice to me? To do that to anyone at all is horrific.”
He added he didn’t “know whether [he had] done it” but that he was “accepting [his] fate”.
The head injury sustained in a fall while fishing led to memory loss and days without sleep, Whitelock claimed.
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The jury has previously heard Whitelock was released from prison in 2018 after serving a life sentence for murder and manslaughter in 2001.
Whitelock said he was “not answering any more questions about a trial that happened 24 years ago”.
“What happened 24 years ago has no relevance to this trial,” he added, while he accused the prosecution of trying to “tie [him] in knots”.
The trial continues.
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