How To Cope With Grief While Working, According To Former White House Chef Andre Rush

Chef Andre Rush poses for a photograph.

Per Bernal

Many people continue working while coming to terms with the death of a loved one. Some people lose their family members or friends to diseases that they’ve been fighting for years. Others know someone who died suddenly. This is the case for Andre Rush, a former marine who was a chef in The White House for four different presidents. He has won hundreds of awards for his culinary expertise and service in the military.

Despite regularly attending high-profile events and spending time with celebrities, Rush’s life has been far from easy. In April of this year his eleven-year-old daughter was killed by her step father. Sadly, he was a veteran grappling with PTSD. He also took the lives of his two biological children, who were only five and six at the time. But grief isn’t holding Rush back. Despite his daughter’s death, he continues to excel in the culinary world. Prominent chefs like Gordon Ramsay have witnessed Rush’s dedication firsthand.

“Chef Andre Rush (as a professional chef) is a powerhouse. His experience earned with a decade at The White House has been instrumental in establishing him as one of the best,” Gordon Ramsay told me via email. Ramsay has worked with him extensively. In August he had Rush as a guest on MasterChef to make a gourmet meal out of military rations. “Having worked alongside him on multiple occasions, he is incredibly passionate about the job he does,” Ramsay said. “With his military background and the amount of time he served as a marine, we have that shared connection with one of my own family in the British Forces. This makes him a man close to my heart.”

Rush became even more invested in his work when his daughter’s life was taken by her step father earlier this year. The renowned chef experienced a devastating loss but shares his daughter’s story to help others while honoring her memory.

I spoke with Andre Rush about advice he has for people who are processing grief while working.

Take A Break

Professionals may want to consider taking a break from work after someone close to them dies. Many companies offer bereavement days. And don’t be afraid to take time off from work for more than a few days. It is normal to feel depressed or hopeless after someone in your life passes away. Taking time off work could be good for your mental health long-term.

Rush wants professionals to know that “it’s okay to grieve” and that might include stepping away from their job. “Don’t stop your emotions, that’s part of the process. Don’t hold back. If you have to take a break, take a break. You will come back stronger,” he told me.

Find A Therapist

This is one of the most important parts of the grieving process. Having guidance from a therapist can go a long way. Therapists will offer coping tools for those who are dealing with a loss. They may also recommend books about grief, information about support groups, and more. It may feel like discussing death is taboo, but public figures like Rush hope to change that. “When you start talking about these things openly everybody else will follow suit, even the most unexpected people and organizations. Everybody wants to have a support system,” Rush said.

He believes people should be completely transparent when discussing death. “Sometimes people just need to open up. I tell people don’t just dismiss it [grief],” he said. “A lot of people think I can get over it, I can handle it. It may seem like a lot and that you can handle some things. In the long run it is going to affect you.”

Join A Support Group

Rush went to a support group with his sister after his nephew was killed. He has also attended support groups through the military. To find a grief support group, head onto Instagram or Tik Tok and type in #griefsupportgroup. You will likely come across some organizations and groups. When discussing support groups, Rush said “they’re important because they’re human connection.”

He recommended that people go to an in-person support group if they can. “These are real people in real time, talking openly about what they’re going through,” he said. “The people that they’re supporting and the people that are there in-person, they’re going to take it back and function 100% better. People need to have human interaction, but they need to have it with people that can actually relate to what they’ve been through.” If someone you know is coping with a death, encourage them to continue interacting with other people. That doesn’t have to be through work or large events. Sometimes coping strategies like taking a break, finding a therapist, and joining a support group can make all the difference.